Tom Meitner

Gobbled gook, gobbledy gook, gobbledy gobbledy gook!

What’s in a name other than a bunch of letters that don’t make sense?

How do I write about a webcam?

Can my mind drift off further if I attach it to a dragonfly?

Butterflies creep me out.

The trees in the forest whisper quietly to the man wearing the yellow skirt.

Dust remover can be called many things, but it is just a can of air.

If I wrote about football, would you even care? I never played football.

I’m just writing about stuff I see around the room. It’s kinda like “I love lamp”.

Mickey Mouse is my best friend, but he’s never really done anything for me. In fact, I think his cartoons are boring.

I wish I was golfing right now.

This month, my wife has a “PEP” meeting. I wonder if that’s like “Pep Club” from grade school. I’m betting her meeting will have less cheerleaders falling off pyramids and hurting themselves.

The tops of my hands are surprisingly hairy. They’re not bushy, but there’s definitely a lot of hair there. This is the only time I’ll ever write about hair on my body.

My mind is blowing freely in the wind, and my apartment smells of smoked paprika (and rich mahogany).

I’m making goulash in the slow cooker as I type this. It smelled good at first, but now, not so much. It’s kinda like when you make popcorn - it smells fresh at first, but after a while, it kind of sucks.

I continue to research and think about new ways to expand my business. I don’t know what will happen next.

As George Carlin once said, “I have lots of great ideas - the problem is, most of them suck.”

Just crossed the 300 word mark. Shooting for 500 words of useless material, not unlike my college papers.

No MasterMind call today. I’m okay with it. I failed at my goals for this week, so I don’t feel like admitting it to them. Plus it gives me an extra hour to get work done. You know, like this.

When I go to Menard’s, it makes me want to buy a house.

I have the theme from “Reading Rainbow” stuck in my head.

I wonder why I subsconsciously chose this format to write all this crap in. Maybe I feel like this is poetry or something.

It’s not.

I hate wearing socks. They’re such a pain, but my feet are cold without them. Soon, it will be so warm out that I will go days without wearing socks. I’m actually really looking forward to that day.

I haven’t had a cigar in a while. Not since I saw the worst standup comedy act in history. That was a horrible night.

But my cigars and humidor are back in fighting shape. I should celebrate with a cigar. Too bad my wife hates them.

I’ve been married for 5 months now. I think that’s the most insane thing I’ve ever written, until the day I write, “I’ve been married for 50 years now.” That will probably be even more insane.